Friday, November 5, 2010

november 3rd 2010 - thank you israel

“I need to see Jakeline” i demanded firmly as i looked at my cell phone watch at 8:59am .  My appointment with Jakeline was at 9am.  I had left the house at 6:25 am from Ramallah to get to Jerusalem to meet with her.  After I lost my passport the second week of September, I’ve had no visa or documentation that makes my stay here legitimate in any way, forget about the West Bank, in Israel or in this area in general.  Using my second passport, I was at least able to prove that I’m American, which is the only ID that I have on me that proves my American-ness.  Losing an American passport outside of the States, is a huuuuuuge deal, because it sells for thousands of dollars in the black market.  After waiting for 2 weeks for it to turn up, I went to Jerusalem to the Consulate to order a new passport, and was told that my old passport would be cancelled, and no one would be able to use it.  At the Consulate, the man who was helping me, quietly told me that to get another passport and another visa I can’t have any documentation that says I was in the West Bank.  That morning he told me to go walk 25 minutes uphill to Jaffa Gate, he told me where the police station was, and he told me to get a police report done there, and tell them that I lost my passport that day, that morning.
It’s almost jarring how I can lie now on demand to authority when it’s necessary.  I casually went up to the police station, and during my walk, i thoguht for a second “hmm what should my story be for the police” and that throught twas followed by “meh dont think about it”.  sitting across from the Isreali police, i just made shit up, saying that that morning I was in the old city with some of my friends, I was at the french bookshop (which I passed on my walk to the police station) and i had gotten a book which was the last time I had my wallet, and then when we were sitting down for coffee I realized I didnt have my entire wallet so I dont know where it is, I must have dropped it somewhere in the old city (which is a big place) and i need to report a lost passport because that’s super important.
Doing so got me my police report , and official piece of paper with lots of Hebrew everywhere, which is always a good thing in this part of the world when you have to deal with the IDF.

My new passport came after another 3 weeks.  And then I had to set up a meeting with the Latin Patriarchate in Jerusalem to see if I could get a visa..the visa that I had been waiting the whole summer for in Jordan, the reason why I was stranded in Jordan for a couple of months in the first place, and the visa that i had gotten miraculously at the end of the summer..and the one that I managed to lose.  

So that appoitnment was today.  at 9am. with Jakeline.

The man looked at me for a split second like I was crazy.  “Who’se Jakeline?” he asked.  now it was my turn to look at him blankly. “crap” i thought, i dont even know Jakeline’s last name.  I’ve just been in email correspondence with her for the past year. “i’m from Ramallah and I work for the Latin Patriarchate and I need to see Jakeline.  she works here?” and he goes “ohhh the church is down the street, and then you will take a right and then you will go up the street and the church is at the end of the road”.  Where the hell was I standing?? Turns out I had walked into a hotel with a church name that also happened to have the word “latin’ in it and had walked straight into the lobby of the hotel to ask the receptionist...about Jakeline.  I kind of told the wrong person that I work in the West Bank.  oops.

The reason why I didnt know where the church was, is because I had never been there before.  Though I work for them and though I use their address as my residential address, this was the first time in about a year that I was actually seeing my ‘home’.  

I walked into the church after the walking on winding roads, found Jakeline, and she told me to come back at 12 and told me to stay close to the area by the church, in case the interior ministry people who are the Israeli officials securing my visa, would want to see me in person to verify that everythign was ‘true’ or to see me since I had lost my passport and all of that.  As I handed her my passport, I felt strange thinking “well this is it”.   A month before that my boss had said to me “you need to keep in touch and follow up with Jakeline.  I dont want you to get deported” and that was ringing in my ears.  Would I get deported? Would I be leaving my teaching and my students? I”m not sure, I have no idea.  In a strange way even though I’ve definitely learned more than anythign to let go of any feelings of certainty, one still has a tendency to worry being always in the middle of a mental tug of war, being pulled in one direction that makes you the happiest to the other direction where all of that can be taken away instantaneously.  
I had 2 and a half hours to kill before getting that passport back.
I came back at noon.  She hadn’t called me to tell me that I was to be called in, in person to be questioned or anything, so in my mind, I thought, wait either that’s really good or really bad? it’s a complete rejection or a complete approval? here goes
At 12i went in, and I went up the narrow set of stairs to her office and she was sitting at her desk, a bunch of papers and 2 X 2 passport photos of Catholic nuns of all colors and their applications spraweled all over her desk, probably applying for the same visa i had applied for.
She handed me my passport, and taking up two entire pages was a typed up printed piece of document that said that I am legal in Israel until October 3rd, 2011 with multiple entry, a big “M” stamped on the second page.

She told me that BECAUSE i lost my passport, they had to apply for the visa agian today and then renew it today, so in a weird way BECAUSE i lost my passport, I have an additional 3 months in Palestine, until October 3rd 2011 instead of July 2011.

Mutliple entry.  I can leave and come back without any questions, from country to country, if i want to go to jordan, i can go and come back without worrying that i will be sent back.  A year.  I can move around from city to city within the West Bank.  I dont have to worry about leaving the Israeli borders every 3 months, and stressing if I am coming back or not.  I can be here LEGALLY.  I am LEGAL.  
I still havent processed this, and to many of my friends this may sound like not a big deal.  but I can not begin to tell you HOW BIG OF A DEAL THIS IS.  what i had in my hands was like holding diamonds.  this kind of documentation, this kind of permission, JUST DOESNT HAPPEN.  I didnt know what to do, i was in shock.  So i went out, and because it was noon, church bells were ringing loud and clear and ringing through the entire city and with the visa in my hand i couldnt help but think “JESUS CHRIST!!! ..eff you Israel you messd up so bad! THANK YOU!”.

I dont knwo what to think.  I’m not sure who to express this to, but to be here for a year legally in Palestine is almost unheard of (I’m sure it happens, but very very very veryyyy few in numbers)
this has put a completely new twist on my frame of mind.  Firstly I still can’t let go of my 10 months of lifestyle : constantly and always bieng on pins and needles thinking about the uncertainty of living here, 3 months at a time.  10 months just to do the calculation for you is roughly 300 days lol, which is a long time.  and to suddenly think that wait...i can actually move around from city to city.  i can leave the country and come back.  is ..too much to process it feels like.
This certainly doesnt mean that i HAVE to stay until October, but it gives me option.  To pass up on a 3 month legal stay here doesnt only seem silly but almost stupid.  
Wakling out, without even thinking I looked up to think “God you really DO want me to stay in the Holy Land!” what are the chances? that my passport being lost would result in THIS? Everything happens for a reason.

With a year at hand, I feel like there are countless things I can get my hands into.  First and foremost: research.  I’ve been talking to a lot of people about my teachign expereince here, and me wondering about research regarding conflict zone psychology.  these kids that i deal with, do things and act in ways that will shock you.  and there is absolutely no data or documentation of these behaviors, or causes, or implications of these things.

This was just to update you.  If you know of any department or any professor that needs or requires or wants field work in Palestine, I am here, and would love to connect with academics.  
Until I process more and find more things, this is it for me.  I”m sure i’ll be getting in touch with you to bounc around some ideas.

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