New Perspectives

For the last couple of weeks, M and I went from living as 2 people in our house to 4.  T and Y moved in, a week separated from each other.  We always had house guests at our apartments, most people that found M on couchsurfers, random travelers and backpackers who are bouncing from one place to another who need a roof to stay under and a floor to sleep on.  They'd spend a night or two with us, we'd give them a glimpse of our lives and then they'd be gone.  I became so used to having random people just visit our place.  It's funny, back home in the States, I'm not sure how comfortable I'd be with this, I mean we are taught to be absolutely obsessed with "safety" and being "careful", which always feeds into an underlying message of never trusting anyone until they give you a reason to trust them, instead of the other way around. But the funny thing about travelers or traveling is that you don't need all the introduction and background and a mental security check for you to open up to each other. When you meet another fellow traveler you realize what a fleeting and temporary encounter it is, and (from my experience) you treat each other with patience, curiosity, kindness and generosity.  Sometimes you discover yourself pouring out things about yourself that your best friend probably doesn't even know.  Again, probably because subconsciously you know that chances are slim that you're going to see that person again and also because there is a sense of freedom when you present yourself as a stranger to a person that has no history on you. and often you discover a lot about yourself through your own dialog. 


The first set of couchsurfers we had hosted were two British guys, who were here doing an internship.  They stayed over for a couple of days and we even trusted them to stay at our apartment for the entire week and a half that M and I were out of the country in Egypt for.  From then on, we had a pair of German girls, a French couple, and lo and behold a Russian-American Jew who came to Israel on  Birthright trip who wanted to see the 'other' side.  Bless his heart.  M and I literally spent a ten to fifteen minutes laughing thinking of the irony, and we made sure to tell this kid that he can not mention that he is a Jew and we asked if he was even aware of the occupation (as most Americans are not).  When he got here, the first thing he said was "well I'm not dead, that's a good start.  They (friends in Israel) told me that I'd get shot the moment I step out of the bus. 

T also found us through the listserv that circulates through the international community in Ramallah, because she needed a place to stay as she was planning on spending the summer working on her Arabic.  Her entrance into my life in Palestine has been nothing short of a blessing.  I didn't found out until her second day here, that she was actually Muslim.  And I remember feeling this wave of happiness, I know that sounds silly, because I was so eager to talk to her about issues that puzzles me so much here, and to engross in discussion.  Finally, I was getting a Muslim view, a Muslim perspective that I had been lacking.  It's so strange, it's not a lie when people say that you really don't realize what you have until you don't have it anymore.  At UNC I was so used to having Muslim friends all around, people who were genuinely interested in questioning faith and understanding the answers using logic, knowledge and curiosity.  I just didn't have that here, and I felt so suffocated.  When I discovered that T was a Muslim convert (from Florida), my thirst for discussion grew.  Honestly Muslim converts put "real" Muslims to shame.  


A week later Y moved in.  A Palestinian American experiencing Palestine for the first time.  That was an eye opening for me.  I realized how much I didn't know about Palestine, I realized how emotional seeing this land can be for someone with Palestinian blood, and as goofy as this sounds, I really realized that I was not Palestinian.  As much love as I might feel for this place, I will never know what THAT feels like, the feeling of returning home, and on the same not I won't really ever get what it feels like to know that your ancestors come from this part of the world but for generations the land and the people here have been imprisoned.  The first night Y was here, we went around town, and SHE introduced me to the snacks that you typically eat for breakfast, how you prepare certain breads, what snacks to eat, she was communicating with everyone, completely familiar to the culture in a way that I will never be.  Seeing Palestine, or experiencing it with someone of Palestinian descent suddenly shifted my entire view of how I look at this place, it made me realize how much I don't understand.  Just like I couldn't teach someone how certain smells of flowers and fruits from Bangladesh soothes me and makes me feel at 'home'.  So through Y's presence I became more cognizant of my international identity within the Palestinian context.  When I speak to Palestinians, either they struggle to speak to me in English or they are happy that they can practice their English knowing that I am an English teacher, or I struggle to squeeze out a few Arabic words.  But I don't have mobility in the language like Y does, it's a very different kind of connection and experience.  


I guess it goes to show you should never allow yourself to think that you know (or you've gotten the 'full' story, or that you really understand something) because you dont know what you dont know, and once you get a glimpse of that, you start realizing how much there is to learn, how much room there always is for growth.  I feel so grateful that I can see Palestine in a new light, appreciate certain tastes, smells and sights through Y, who knows so much more about the people, the land and the culture than I've learned in the past six months.  


To be continued..